My Bitter Sweet Experience Of Living Through The Covid19 Pandemic

    Where did the time go?  As my youngest son started to cry somehow it took me back in time and I began thinking about how fast time had passed since the last year 2020 when Covid hit and we along with others were out scrabbling for food at any grocery store that had it available because of the food and toilet paper shortage like it was literally doomed day. My kid's school year was cut short and my mother was stuck behind doors at a nearby skilled nursing facility as our visits were now through a window and along with all that I was under more stress with talks of potential layoffs at my job. 

    Life, as I had known it quickly, changed in the blink of an eye. The world had come to a stop and so did my certainties. I was no longer sure of what I was once certain of things like shelter, food, work, or most importantly my health. Things that I figured would be available to me and my family as long as I was in control of my choices had now become jeopardized because of this virus better known as covid19. I questioned things like "would I have a job to put food on the table? Would I be able to pay rent to keep a roof over our heads or better yet would I myself contract the virus?" These were just some of the thoughts that got the best of me some nights and with the government not knowing how badly this virus would affect the economy or how long until a vaccine would be available I was left with even more uncertainties than I had before which challenged my optimism. 

                                                                               

    Then I was put in another situation aside from being potentially laid off and my kid's not knowing how long it would be before they would be able to return back to school I was informed my mother needed to be discharged from the skilled nursing facility. See in order to avoid her becoming a victim of the virus due to a strain that began breaking out inside the facility amongst the residents and my mom being high risk it benefited her to be released to a family member which left me questioning "What do I do now? Because I had so many other things going on at the time then after talking it over with my sister I made the choice to go get my mother and allow her to stay with us to avoid her becoming a victim of this potentially deadly virus. Now not only was I juggling my marriage, my two teenagers, my toddler, and my job I was now taking on the responsibility of caring for my mother full time.

        Covid19 had me up against the wall but I never caved. Matter of fact if someone told me pre covid I'd be hit with so much responsibility in such a short amount of time I would have doubted myself but post covid has brought the best out of me. I learned things about myself I never knew, found strengths I wasn't aware I possessed from a journey I never thought I'd venture on, and to think it would take a pandemic to pull those newfound qualities out of me. Needless to say, I'm so proud of myself and the women I've grown into from these experiences.

  Pre pandemic I was so naive, thinking I had everything figured out. I figured as long as I had a plan that I stuck to everything would work out fine, which I learned was far from the truth. I found that my mental foundation thanks to the pandemic had been rewired and that I no longer think how I thought pre-pandemic. I've learned that nothing in life is certain but change. I know now how very important time is because it is limited, I also know now that even if I have a plan for my life it doesn't matter because life itself has plans for me too that may derail my original plan but I had to have faith while trusting the process. This whole covid19 pandemic has been bittersweet and although I haven't covered my year experience of the coronavirus pandemic in these few sentences I have been to touch on some pretty traumatic events that occurred in my life pre and post covid that has changed my mental philosophy about myself and the way I look at this world forever. 

                                           

Scriptures I Drew Near Towards

 Mattew 6:34 " Worry not about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

Matthew in 6:25-32 "Therefore I tell you, don't worry about your life, what you will eat, or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body not more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. yet I tell you not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown in the fire, will he not much more clothe you-you of little faith? So do not worry saying ' What shall we eat?' Or what shall we drink ?' Or what shall we wear? For the pagans run after all of these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them."

 Philippians 4: 6 " Do not be anxious about anything but instead pray about everything."

Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed in Strength and Dignity and laughs without fear of the future." 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."